Hurried Hannah: Learning to Like the Gift of Rest

Right now, God has granted me a special gift. Yes, the baby is one of them, but that's not what I'm talking about in this post.

I'm talking about rest.

For the first time in my life, God has closed the doors of busyness I have been trying to open, and slammed the windows with them.

I was so discouraged at first; why would no one hire me? Or give me an interview?

Why was I suddenly stuck with all this free time on my hands?

And this is what I've learned: busyness has its place, but so does rest.

I used to think that being industrious all the time was a kind of virtue, the "proper" way for me to live my life, and I was always rushing to "make the most of my time." While that outlook served me quite well through high school and college, and then in the working world, it did take its toll.

Bags under my eyes. Not enough sleep. No time to exercise.

I don't know, something about being a contender for Zombie Magazine just wasn't good for me, in hindsight.

And now? Now I have all the time in the world to sleep, to read, to do chores, to read... basically whatever I want to do, I suddenly have time for. I'm not saying this to brag. I'm not saying it in any kind of judgy way, I'm just stating that right now, this is what my life is like.

And at first, I hated it.

I thought I was being lazy, and my days were full of guilt. I felt like I wasn't measuring up to anyone's standards, particularly my own, and I thought, "what happened to me?"

For the first time, I wasn't in the paper or winning writing contests or being chosen to go to England; I wasn't scoring my dream job, or teaching Sunday School or volunteering or making things, or taking up languages or teaching blind kids or any number of things that used to be a normal part of life for me.

Even being pregnant,  I felt like I should still be able to do them, to continue this business of being busy.

I have learned that I was wrong.

God is teaching me to rest in Him, to grow closer to Him, and to use this extra time as a season in my life to be nearer to Him.

He's telling me that it is just a season, and that I need to take time to go look at the flowers outside, and enjoy the rain, and focus on my little growing family right now; that right now, my ministry is my family and that is all He is calling me to do at the moment. That right now, I need to rest up before the little one He is entrusting to me and my husband gets here...

... that I need to rest.

I'm finally learning to listen. For the first time I think ever, I don't feel rushed during daily life. I don't think I've ever known (even as a child I was this way) what it feels like not to be in a hurry with everything. Going to college? Better hurry through it to save money. Going shopping? Better get in and out as fast you can, you should be doing something else. Going to the gas station? Only because I have to, and I would actually bring flash cards or things to do while I stood there at the pump. My dentist still reminds me of the times I did homework sitting in the lobby. After church, I would often sit in the car and do homework until the rest of the family was ready to go. You get the idea.

For some reason, probably foolish youth and pride, I always thought that God would have some "Big Purpose" for my life, and I envisioned that as being an overseas missionary, trekking through jungles or toiling in deserts, and someday He might call me to to that. Especially because Scot has similar notions.

But not right now.

And I know once the baby gets here, busyness will have its place again.

I'm learning to be ok with resting during this special season of my life.

I found this poem, and I want to share it with all of you because it describes what I'm learning:


From The Still Small Voice

I longed to walk along an easy road, 

And leave behind the dull routine of home,

Thinking in other fields to serve my God; 

But Jesus said, "My time has not yet come." 

I longed to sow the seed in other soil, 

To be unshackled in the work, and free, 

To join with other laborers in their toil; 

But Jesus said, "It's not My choice for thee." 

I longed to leave the desert, and be led

To work where souls were sunk in sin and shame, 

That I might win them; but the Master said, 

"I have not called you, publish here My name."

I longed to fight the battles of my King, 

Lift high His standards in the thickest strife;

But my great Captain had me wait and sing

Songs of His conquests in my quiet life. 

I longed to leave the hard and difficult sphere,

Where all alone I seemed to stand and wait,

To feel I had some human helper near, 

But Jesus had me guard one lonely gate. 

I longed to leave the common daily toil, 

Where no one seemed to understand or care; 

But Jesus said, "I choose for you this soil,

That you might raise for Me some blossoms rare." 

And now I have no longing but to do 

At home, or far away, His blessed will, 

To work amid the many or the few; 

Thus, "choosing not to choose," my heart is still. 

Changes (as in, every major life change you could think of right now, except maybe owning llamas)

For those of you who aren't close family and friends, Scot and I moved to Colorado about 2 weeks ago. My fabulous husband will be attending his dream graduate program starting on Monday, and I am so excited for him and incredibly proud! We are getting used to being OUTSIDE in the summer (remember, we are home-grown desert rats from Arizona), and I discovered that having the windows open in the morning, letting the cool air circulate through the house, is a wonderfully fresh thing. We also get rain here!! I almost forgot what it was. There are beautiful trees, and flowers, and even... yes... grass! We are very happy so far here.

Scot secured a job at Quest Laboratories while he goes to school, so he won't have a lot of time off this year. That leaves me with plenty of time to write, and play the piano, and compose, and sew, and craft, and bake, and yada yada.

But wait, you say. Why aren't I working?

Because... drumroll please... we are expecting! We are going to be parents come late February.

We found out officially on Father's Day this year, which was fitting for Scot. We then told our dads that we wished them a happy Father's Day and Grandfather's Day, too! Both sets of parents are over the moon for this new baby.

I am experiencing morning sickness, along with other things, but I know that in the end it will be more than worth it when I get to hold our little baby Carlisle in my arms. How exciting!

We aren't dead-set on any names (although I've shot down most of Scot's suggestions...

Me: "I want a strong name, preferably a Biblical name, for our kid. Names are important!"
Scot: "How about Jezebel? Or Haman? Or Ahab? Or-"
Me: *head hits desk* "No," through muffled laughter)

Anyway, we are both beyond thrilled and like Abigail Grace so far for a girl, and maybe William for a boy. Although knowing *ahem* family, our kid would be called Wet Willy, so I'm re-thinking that one a bit.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Another exciting development in our little life story is that the plot for my novel is now finished, with room for a sequel and ideas for that, too. I can't tell you what it is about yet, but I have been a long time in the throes of reading writer's blogs, getting all the writing tips I can, and going through my favorite novels in the genre I'm writing in (fiction) and dissecting how the authors formulate their writing. I think I have them down.

Now, alas, to begin! I'm excited. I think this book may actually have a chance, but we will see.

That about wraps up the last few months... can you say, "crazy?" Wait, what am I talking about. I don't know, must be the pregnancy brain...

Toodles!

Our Cruise Journal-- (The Highlight Version)

I do not have time to capture every part of our trip, so here's the condensed version.

Highlights of Our Trip:

Ocean sunsets
Rainforest Toucan
Scot ate a termite
Tubing through Xilbalba, the Mayan hell
Pineapples growing
Claustrophobia on board ship


Snorkeling in Cozumel
Ziplining in Belize
*I got turned backwards and crashed into the wooden platform at the end*
Relaxing on the beach
Smell of sunscreen everywhere
Found out I love pineapple and coconut drinks


Movies with my honey
2 on-board comedy shows
An old Motown sing-along show we left early
Art history lecture
Ship navigation lecture
Yes we are old people at heart sometimes :)

But the best part?
A whole uninterrupted week with Scot.
Dancing on the very top of the ship,
Playing mini-golf in the insane winds
Seeing his eyes light up in the jungle
Leisurely dinners together

It's been great first year babe (well, not until June technically

but close enough)!

Our First Pets

A week until the Caribbean, but Scot and I wanted to get a head start looking at fish. The tank took a while to set up (you can't add everything all at once), but here's the finished product.

We have two clownfish (like Nemo)

This one is a flame angelfish.

She's super pretty. 

This is our emerald crab

And here is our six-line wrasse.

Every time its eyes move, it's kind of freaky.

And lastly here's our coral-banded shrimp. 

I'm sorry they aren't the best pictures, but fish are hard to photograph! 

We are thinking of setting up a smaller tank for some seahorses and a green mandarin. We'll see, though. Everybody seems to get along, and they are fascinating to watch. 

Anybody have any saltwater tank or seahorse keeping tips? 

The Crazy Carlisles

Here's an update from us crazy newlyweds... we are going on a cruise! A Caribbean cruise, no less. What we are doing:

• Ziplining through the jungle in Belize
• Tubing down a rainforest river (cross your fingers there aren't any crocs!!)
• Taking a twister boat to a private island to enjoy an out-of-the-way beach near Cozumel
• Sailing on a catamaran to one of the best snorkling/ diving spots, with lunch included in Honduras

We can't WAIT. We have been working so hard to save up for this trip, and it will be the trip of a lifetime! Scot and I wanted to do something special to celebrate our 1st year anniversary, and his graduation, and I guess my graduation too. But mainly, we just want to celebrate each other and our marriage, and we think it is deserving of a cruise. Ah!!!! 

In other news, we are getting a fish or maybe fishes! I am hoping for this beauty:

(we found him at an aquarium store)

Or, some of these or both.

How fun is that?

I threw a dinner for work that involved fish centerpieces and everybody loved them (and don't worry, the fish were properly cared for and are being taken care of). They stole the show, without a doubt. 

Here are some pics:

 (side note: I hand-made the placemats and wrote the namecards out myself, in addition to making the centerpieces)

They were great, the only problem is now I want one. Luckily, Scot is willing to adopt some. 

In other other news, we used a free cultural pass at the library to go to the zoo. I hadn't been since I was a child, and we thoroughly enjoyed monkeying around all day, like this guy.

We also found a sale at the library, and we really scored all of these for under $3 altogether.

 Scot's picks

 My pick 

And, lastly, I have been making bread and I tried bagels, too. The recipe for the bread can be found HERE. 

Life is good! 

Until next time,

Hannah & Scot

Thrifty Thirty: Thirty Ways I Pinch Pennies

             

Hello Dear Readers,

Here are some silly and some practical ways I have found to save money.

1. We budget each month with categories; the secret to a savings account is living below your means, not within them.

2. Costco bulk items are my salvation-- my favorite are the huge bags of rice for $7, the huge bags of flour, the bread, bagels, eggs, and rotisserie chicken. The chicken is already cooked, and it freezes well. *side note... Costco strawberries also taste better than strawberries anywhere else. I promise.**

3. I make my own laundry soap, the recipe is HERE. For $30, I made enough laundry detergent to last us a year and a half. And I like it!

4. For a while, I was making bread. That recipe is HERE. 81 cents for a 2 lb loaf is pretty good.

5. I give my husband haircuts. Luckily, he's very low- maintenance. :)

6. I tried giving myself a haircut... and it actually turned out not too bad! But I don't recommend it unless you're really, really confident with those scissors.

7. For date nights, sometimes Scot and I get a 79 cent Slurpy from Circle K and a Redbox movie... it's a great date for less than $5.

8. For other dates, we find free things to do... did you know that the public library gives out free "culture" passes? You have to be lucky enough to score some, but they equal free trips to the zoo, the botanical gardens, different museums, etc. Or, we go hiking or for walks, or even the occasional bike ride.

9. I sometimes shop at a discount grocery store. For those of you in the Mesa/ Tempe area, I recommend American Discount Foods off of Longmore and Southern. They are admittedly hit-and-miss; sometimes, I'll go in and find tons of stuff I want. Other times, there may be very little. They are worth checking out though, especially for produce! I've scored fruit trays for $2 there.

10. We use a filtered water system, the Brita pitchers, for drinking water. Rather than buying water by the gallon, we use this instead. The water tastes pretty good (and I am picky about my water), is easy to maintain, and washes easily.

11. We don't buy soda. I sometimes cave and buy fruit drinks (like apple juice), but those are not an every grocery trip occurrence.

12. I visit Goodwill and thrift stores every once in a while-- and it is well worth it! Not having grown up going to thrift stores, they are a whole new world for me. I've found everything from a nice dresser buffet for $50, to a matching piece of crystal glassware for my particular set, to serving platters, and more.

13. I sew. No, I'm not talented enough to make our clothes yet (which honestly, can be just as expensive as buying them anyway), but I do use my sewing machine for repairing clothing. I also use it for home crafts, such as a mail catcher I threw together one Saturday. Curtains are a breeze, too.

14. We don't have cable.

15. Scot and I read. The library is free and right down the street.

16. We plan grocery visits so we aren't constantly using extra gas to pick stuff up all the time we forgot.

17. This sounds kind of crazy, but we go looking for movies at Pawn shops. You can often get 5 for $3! And some have good movies, too.

18. We look for adds in the mail to eat out places... for instance, the Mongolian Grill by our house sometimes gives out offers that are good enough to cover one of our dinners.

19. We eat in almost all the time. We only go out when we have money budgeted for it in our "date fund," and even then usually with a coupon.

20. We use the cards at restaurants-- like the Red Robin Royalty card and others. Every ninth burger is free, and you get a free burger during your birthday month.

21. I drink a lot of tea. I get tired of water, and it is a great alternative to *just* water.

22. I use a Swiffer mop but instead of buying the replacement pads, I just use a regular old dishcloth (dedicated to the floor, of course), and a bucket of soapy water.

23. We use power strips for things like the tv, dvd player, wii, and whatever else gets plugged into our entertainment system. By cutting the power to everything while we aren't home, it saves us a lot of money on energy- sapping devices. We are planning on getting a timer for our router as well.

24. When I can, I hang things up to dry instead of using the dryer. Not all the time, because even I don't have that much patience for laundry, but when I can I do.

25. We used old rags instead of paper towels for the longest time, until I finally caved and bought some much to Scot's chagrin. He's getting used to them though... no more freaking out or being the paper towel Nazi. (I love you babe!) :)

26. Scot works on our cars himself. This is an incredible blessing, because I know not everyone knows how (I certainly don't), but that saves us a TON of money. Oil changes, break pad replacements, changing the motor mount or pretty much whatever needs to be done he can do.

27. We don't buy anything on easy payments or credit. Yes, we use a credit card for purchases sometimes because you need some kind of credit history, but we are really using what's actually already in our bank account when it comes down to paying the bill. We also pay the entire balance of the bill at the end of the billing cycle, and this saves a TON of money on interest charges. I hope that makes sense the way I explained it!

28. Back to the cars, Scot uses an app that keeps track of car mileage and tells him when general maintenance things need to be done (spark plugs, new battery, etc.). He pays attention and replaces things before they are broken... and this general maintenance has saved us many headaches and many break downs. Also, one of our budget categories is car repairs, so even when we don't use it for months when something goes wrong, we have the money and aren't caught stressing about how to pay rent that month. Yay for budgeting!

29. We use Chevron gas. I know what you're thinking, "but that's not cheap!" and I know, places like Circle K or Shell have cheaper gas. Know what? Mileage wise, they are not cheaper for your car and gunk up your engine, too. Paying the extra cents at the pump for Chevron actually works out to be cheaper in the long run.

30. We take the time to plan. It is trying for me at times, because sitting down and keeping track of our budget isn't always high on my to- do list, but it is worth it.

I hope some of those were helpful, and if not at least they were amusing, right? You're welcome. *notice how I didn't post a picture of my hair?

Until next time,
Hannah

When Sight Came Wrapped in Blindness

Here is an original poem, written by yours truly. Once in a while I like to write some (poorly written) poetry for fun, and I thought I would share this one with you all. It is about Paul, and yes, I took a few liberties with it... nevertheless, enjoy! :)

When Sight Came Wrapped in Blindess

When sight came wrapped in blindess that hot and dusty day,

I was galloping upon my horse, a holy, upright way.

My neck was bent upon the steed that bore me to my chore; 

And when I thought about my goal, I boiled more than before.

The sweat poured from my brow and arms, my hands stained with horses' leather; 

I grimaced as I thought of what came from that flock who stood together.

Those "Christians" cowering upon the floor of houses that I entered

And drug away for heresy, and murdered, for the better-- 

And as I thought about their faces both calm and resigned,

I puzzled at their rebelliousness- a fine thought for my mind

When all of a sudden, I was knocked off my fine horse

And fell to the ground with a loud THUD and no remorse.

A Mighty Voice cried out, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" 

And my heart filled with dread-- for at once I knew it was He.

Incredulous, and to be sure, I asked, "Who art thou, Lord?" 

And that Voice of voices grew in strength and cried louder than before:

"I am Jesus who thou persecutes! Now rise, and be on your way;

and later in Damascus I will tell you about your stay." 

I stood once more upon my feet and then to my surprise,

Found that this great and mighty Jesus had closed my own two eyes!

"I cannot see!" I cried, and reached out my hand for help; 

And there a friend clasped it and brought it to himself.

He said, "Oh Saul, I'm afraid we've made a mistake! 

This Jesus that we hate so much is real and is not fake!" 

Onward we walked, and weaker I grew, for I would not not eat or drink;

I needed every minute to ponder and process and wonder and think. 

I had missed it! I had missed Him! This Jesus who I despised,

Was all the time in front of me, right before my eyes! 

At last we reached the gates of the city, and entered not so pious;

When there we ran smack into a man called Ananias.

He laid his hands upon my head and prayed a prayer for me,

And there the scales fell off my eyes-- at last, I could truly see!

Not just the light or friends or birds or things lovely to behold,

I saw the Man Jesus for who He was-- the God, I Am, of old.

I felt such sorrow for what I had done to followers of the Way,

And grateful to this Jesus for his mercy on me that day. 

He showed me that He lives and cares about each and every one of us,

When sight came wrapped in blindess that day,

On the road to Damascus. 

-Hannah Carlisle